Son of God review - Jesus Movies 2014 Edition

Read my prior roundup of Jesus movies here. 

This year's new life of Christ film is derived from Roma Downey and Mark Burnett's television miniseries The Bible. I hadn't seen the series, so I was curious to check out the feature-length version. There hasn't been a full-fledged Gospel theatrical release since The Passion of the Christ a decade ago. Does Son of God further advance the genre?

Pros: The story is narrated by aging St. John in exile on Patmos. His gospel's "In the beginning was the Word..." intro leads us through an Old Testament montage before diving straight into Jesus' public ministry. This is a great contextual and theological set-up.

Cons: Sadly, the initial Incarnation focus gets lost as the narrative tries to be as generic and uncontroversial as possible. Other reviews have aptly compared it to a greatest hits montage played by a cover band. It's really an amalgamation of History Channel footage, and it shows.

Notable performances: As usual, the villains are often the most interesting. Judas is a straightforward creep who becomes Caiaphas' flunky. The high priest is in turn pushed around by Pilate, whose retribution he fears. Pilate is a stone-cold meany spilling Israelite blood in between massages and reclining dinners, but deep down he's worried about his own career too. In the Sanhedrin's negotiations with Pilate about Jesus' execution, he seems to view them with the exasperation one reserves for that particularly annoying co-worker. "Why are you bothering me about this guy when he's your problem? Oh, and now you're gonna nitpick how I wrote that sign?"

There's a token pharisee who initially gets annoyed when people ditch him for Jesus, and then somehow manages to be in the peanut gallery of every scene. His escalating outrage and jealousy are pretty fun. After each miracle I expected him to blurt out a Gob Bluth "Oh, COME ON!" Speaking of obnoxious people, Thomas is among the most vocal of the Apostles, whining with doubt about everything. At one point Peter just has to tell him to shut his trap and act in faith already.

Favorite scenes: Most of the scenes are pretty paint-by-numbers, but sometimes there are creative insights. For example, the woman caught in adultery has a small child who's upset by her mother's possible stoning. This perfectly emphasizes the human dignity Jesus is defending, and shows how the woman's  sinful life was still important to others. There are some interesting Eucharistic references, like Judas gagging on unleavened bread as he flees the Last Supper or Peter rushing to say Mass as soon as he realizes Jesus is alive and they better remember him like he asked.  Possibly my favorite parts were the innovative scenes during Christ's agony in Gethsemane. The camera cuts from his anguished prayers to the Sanhedrin reciting Psalms to Pilate and his wife burning incense to their ancestors, all praying with different motivations.

What The Frankincense: Complaining that the holes in Jesus' hands didn't look "real" enough sounds really pedantic, so I'll just mention this - Cee Lo Green does the closing credits song. Which is the theologically suspect "Mary Did You Know." Umm ok? I'll take Cee Lo's tunes however I can get them.

Jesus rating: 1 out of 5. This Jesus is not only bland, he's annoying. His perfect beachy waves of hair and knowing closed-mouth smile reminded me of another resurrected TV character - Alison, the leading Mean Girl and possibly dead frenemy on Pretty Little Liars.

I mean, look at this.  

Despite the smug grins, this Jesus is surprisingly ignorant. He gets telepathic flash-forward knowledge of future events at the last minute. For instance, only after embracing Peter at his promise of loyalty does Jesus get a precog vision of denial and roosters crowing.

Even worse, this Jesus spouts trite inspirational slogans. It's like the screenwriters had to abridge the already straightforward dialogue of the Gospels. In his first scene, Christ recruits Peter not with the clever "fisher of men" line, but by saying they will "change the world." It's the worst during the Passion scenes. Instead of prophecies and the epic Last Supper soliloquy of John's gospel, Jesus speaks in glib phrases that belong on a cat poster.  John bursts into tears at predictions of Jesus death; the Master tells him to "Trust in God." When Mary meets her Son carrying the cross, he says "All things are possible with God!"

Mary was probably thinking "What things exactly? How about you not dying, is that possible? Or is this a really bad hint at the resurrection?" The Passion of the Christ did it better. Jim Caviezel's Jesus tells Mary, "See mother, I make all things new," actually explaining the purpose of his suffering. Despite his title, Son of God  doesn't offer any real answers to life's big questions of suffering, sin, and redemption. 

Cinematic value: This brings me to my final point - this movie's greatest value was how it made me better appreciate its predecessors. Son of God's knock-off imitations show the endurance of Passion of the Christ's artistic legacy. Whether it inspired you or grossed you out, PoTC did offer some innovative visuals. Son of God's Passion sequence pulls out the same set pieces but doesn't execute them as well. There's the slow-mo dramatic music for the Sanhedrin so you know they are baaaaaad guuuuuuuuuys. There's Mary watching the scourging from afar and Jesus kissing the cross before he lifts it. There's the copious blood that makes gravel stick to Jesus' unrecognizable face. Unfortunately, instead of Jim Caviezel's poignant facial expressions we just get close-ups of the bloody drool streaming from Diogo Morgado's' lower lip.

Extreme close-ups and other distracting camera tricks are really the film's undoing. Only the most hipster bar in Williamsburg is this focused on beards. By the end  I was well-acquainted with every character's facial hair follicles as well as the state of their pores. The constant zooming may have been to compensate for lackluster sets, or to lend gravitas. When scenes finally do pan out, there are indiscriminate lens flares and amateurish GCI of Jerusalem. Again, there is another film predecessor that did this better: Jesus of Nazareth. Franco Zefferelli's Jesus flick was also a made-for-TV miniseries, but that didn't stop him from shooting sweeping landscapes, dramatically lit sets, and an impressive temple courtyard.

Bottom Line: While it would be fine to show in a classroom or as a TV Easter special, this is not a Jesus movie I would go out of my way to purchase and rewatch. There's been some critical discussion of whether it's disingenuous to charge audiences big screen prices to see a previously aired television program plus deleted scenes. Downey and Burnett have responded that it's an evangelization effort; they want to get the message of Jesus out to as many people as they can. Unfortunately, their Jesus is too much of a bland nice guy to inspire lifelong devotion.