What I Wore Sunday - Lessons and Carols

Sweater: Kohl's

Dress: H and M

Belt and boots: Target

Necklace: Mortar and pestle pendant, a gift from my internship at a colonial apothecary shop

I'm back in New Jersey again, this time for the annual Lessons and Carols concert at The Betrothed's parish. He sings bass in the choir, and I am always impressed by how great they sound. I was very proud listening to him intone the first notes of Alma Redemptoris Mater. While he was in rehearsal, I snapped this picture in the newly renovated Catholic Student Center next door, a former convent. My campus ministry center in undergrad was a basement room called "The Catacombs," so I hope these kids know realize how good they have it.

Lessons and Carols is a lovely Advent tradition that I only discovered in the past few years. It combines hymns with scripture readings (the lessons), focusing on prophetic readings about the Messiah. I love how it gives me time to reflect on how long-awaited Jesus' coming really was. 

I also appreciate that The Betrothed's choir director picks lots of great Advent hymns that pack some theological heft. Celebrating the Incarnation should not reduce Christians to Ricky Bobby, cooing over "sweet little 8 pound 5 ounce baby Jesus in your crib with your Baby Einstein videos" and his pretty mommy.  As our priests were so good at explaining yesterday, Christ's arrival for a suffering world means so much more than that. 

For more outfits, visit Fine Linen and Purple!

What I Wore Sunday: Vol. 6, Christ the King

This week I am visiting my fiance up in New Jersey, so I have someone to take my picture! We always go out to brunch at a diner with several of his church friends after Mass. At this point the staff know us and just say "How many this week?" Once he and I ate there on a weekday and a waiter asked "Why are you here today?" You gotta love any dining establishment run by a Greek family. You also know you are in New Jersey when a flyer in the lobby advertises a pro-wrestling "Jingle Brawl" ... hosted at a Knights of Columbus Hall. 

Sweater: Kohl's?

"Pearls": Kohl's 

Scarf: Gift from parents

Sweater tights: T.J. Maxx

Wedges: Aerosoles outlet

Skirt: Anne Klein, thifted. (I bought this for $6 new with tags on four years ago. 

Thanks to Weight Watchers I can finally fit in it. Victory!)

I am big fan of this week's feast of Christ the King. Or as it is called now, "Lord Jesus, King of the UNIVERSE." Did everyone else hear He-Man, Masters of the Universe references at Mass today? Just me? I prefer to think of today as the feast of Jesus' awesomeness + the New Year's Eve of the liturgical year + making autumn more important. Why should December get all the attention?

The cornerstone of Christ the King Parish in St. Louis. I used to live next door. 

 For more church outfits, check out the link-up at Fine Linen and Purple!

Thank You

It's no secret that long-distance relationships are tough. Holidays are one of the worst parts. I usually forget this until the day rolls around, then the loneliness makes me remember. 

There are so many festive things my fiance and I have never done together. We've never decorated a Christmas tree, or carved pumpkins, or dyed Easter eggs. We've watched fireworks together once. Our first Valentine's Day was postponed because of a snowstorm and car trouble. We've never fasted or worn ashes in the same place. We're always apart on Christmas and Easter - we make do with Gaudete and Palm Sunday. Ringing in the New Year works out, but only after a pricey solo flight to his hometown. We still have fun even if we have to go to celebrations alone, but it's hard not to spend special days with the person you love most. Things will be so much easier when we are making our travel and celebration plans together.

Thankfully, Thanksgiving has always been ours. Three years ago, we had known each other only three months, but he drove down with me to meet my family. Today will be the fourth time he's eaten turkey off my parents' wedding china and played board games with my siblings on Black Friday. And so, I'm grateful. 

- for how my family has always welcomed the man I love into our home and our traditions

- for having my entire family all together in one place for the first time in months

- that this is our last holiday season playing schedule tetris and crossing fingers that we can see each other

- that I have time to visit my fiance next week, too

- that we can work together in the kitchen making sweet potato casserole

- that God sent a funny, handsome historian who would drive almost 500 round trip miles up and down the east coast, just to wind up at my door. And then next month drive 500 more. Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart. I love you!

7 Things About Funemployment

So I don't work downtown anymore. The tourist busy season is winding down, so a bunch of us got laid off. We knew this was coming, but still, it's hard out here for a temp. Being unemployed has been an unexpected blessing in some ways. Here's what I've been grateful for these past two weeks. 

A "Staff Only" staircase

1. Having access to an amazing historic place. There are few greater museum thrills than getting to go through the "authorized personnel only" door. I feel like I leave a little piece of my heart behind in every historic place that is "mine" for a short time. Whenever I return to Colonial Williamsburg or Winterthur it feels a little like coming home. This latest installment is no exception. On my last two days I ran around taking pictures of all the beautiful places that would soon be off limits. 


2. The wonderful people I met at work. Most people were in their 20s and starting out, or 40+ and winding down. It was an interesting dynamic of 100 or so folks, everyone with a different interesting background.  Standing around on post all day gave us plenty of time to tell our stories. I felt like Bill Murray in the Groundhog Day diner scene - I could share some random fact about every person in the room.



"Maybe God isn't omniscient, maybe he's just been around so long he knows everything."



3. Not even realizing how lucky I was to know them. One of my favorite coworkers, a big, jovial Civil War buff who brought in barbecue on holidays, tragically died in his sleep last weekend. It's hard to believe such a dynamic and encouraging presence is gone. But the outpouring of support and memories on Facebook from the community has been amazing. Rest in peace, Tony. I'll always remember when that tourist planted a wet one on my face after you got him last-minute tickets.


4. Getting a rest. I spent three hours of every day commuting. Thank goodness for the bus and Metro systems, but leaving my house in the dark at 6:30 AM was getting old. So was battling the rush hour crowds. One day a lady in a suit told me I needed to be more aggressive getting a seat. I took her advice to heart, but I resisted the urge to whale on anyone with my lunchbag. 


5. A surprise FTD box on my doorstep election night. If I hadn't gone out for an errand I would have missed it. "Happy carpooling and fulfillment of civic duties," said the card from my fiance. 







6. Rediscovering my hobbies. I've baked two kinds of gluten free bread (fennel seeds and raisins FTW), I've watched movies on Netflix, I've checked out more library books than I can carry. Oh yeah, and blogging. 


7. The opportunity for something new. I have a spreadsheet full of job opportunities. Fire up the novenas. 

Visit Jen for more Quick Takes!

Road Trip Quick Takes

Thanks as always to Jen at Conversion Diary for hosting this link-up.

 The Betrothed and I just spent the last three weeks of June on an epic road trip visiting many friends and relatives across the Central time zone. Here are some of the funny and interesting things we saw at each of our stops.

This is what it looks like when two nerds  revisit childhood road trips. 

1. A store along the highway in Tennessee proudly proclaimed, "JESUS IS LORD" and "WE BUY GUNS."


2. The tiny town of Morrisville, AL is only nine square blocks. It was cute, but not as much of a time warp as  my doctor's office Southern Living December 2009 made it out to be. 



Quaint, but overrated. 






Fathers' Day Mass at my future sister-in-law's Florida parish featured the "Knights of Columbus Chorale" - basically Dads in matching Knights polo shirts leading the hymns. Adorbs. 






My fiance took me to a bayou nature preserve outside New Orleans, where the air was thick with humidity and cicadas. The alligators were hiding from view, but we did see lizards, a million dragonflies, and a crawfish crawling around in the the dirt. He threatened us with his claws.






Don't worry little guy, we won't eat you. 






There are a ton of historic plantation houses down River Road outside New Orleans. Evergreen Plantation is still privately owned, and so not jammed with tourists. Hollywood has found them though - apparently Quentin Tarentino has been filming scenes for Django Unchaned there. We only saw intact slave cabins, though, no movie stars.






Can't begin to describe how seeing these buildings blew my nerdy mind. 





A bumper sticker on a truck outside Dallas informed us that "Kids who hunt and fish don't steal and deal." Ok then. 







While visiting grandparents in Chicago, I did some archival research of old family photos. Check out the fantastic vestments at my great uncle's diaconate ordination. (Rest in peace. Fr. Kevin.)

Seriously, check out that man-lace. 

I hope we come back soon, Chicagoland. 

Can Motherhood and Graduate Degrees Mix?

I'm late to the party for this week's Bright Maidens topic, but I've really been enjoying everyone's contributions. The dilemma of stay-at-home mom vs. working mom is one that I wrestle with. I'm still asking God to show me the proper balance between my scholarly goals and my desire for motherhood.

Source

I'm blessed to have a mother who left her physical therapy career to raise her children full-time. My mom hasn't been formally employed for 27 years, but I've always known that she works as hard as any CEO. Creating a loving home and family is her mission in life, and I admire her dedication to it. As the oldest of 5 kids, I was her assistant from an early age. I'm proud of the skills I've learned at home. I can cook for a crowd, grocery shop strategically, hem pants, plant flowers, paint a living room, and jump-start a car.

On the other hand, I can identify with some women's professional angst . Grad school messes with your head in many ways, and that includes how you think about parenthood. After spending years of blood, sweat, and tears on an advanced degree, all you can think about is getting a job that will let you use it. When you make the "terrible life choice" of grad school, you make a commitment to a field you are passionate about. I didn't set out to follow a different path than my mom, it just happened that way.

When I graduated from college with no marriage prospects, I figured I might as well pay the bills doing something I loved. Thanks to Divine Providence, I started a competitive master's program ... and met my future husband two weeks into the school year. The Betrothed's love for history and Catholic family life both made me fall in love with him. I had happy daydreams of us being one of those faculty couples beloved around campus for their dinner parties, cute kids, campus ministry involvement, and banter-filled joint lectures. Here was someone who understood all the things that I valued, both sacred and secular.

It's sad to see how children can be a professional afterthought for academics. Some people in our fields would say to delay kids until tenure or several job promotions. (Waiting for pregnancy until your late 30s always works out well, right?)


That kind of attitude looks at just half the picture. Scholarly publications can feel like birthing a child, but they don't really go on to have developing lives of their own. They sit on shelves collecting dust until someone makes future grad students read them. Academia doesn't love me back, or need me to teach it what life is about. Sitting alone in an archive is cold and lonely. No one coos about how adorable your Chapter 6 footnotes are. (If they do, they need help.)


When I see examples of women writing dissertations while pregnant, I feel like there is hope in the world. It may not be possible to have it "all," but I would love to try to have at least some. I deeply desire to have a family with my historian fiance, but I have also been fighting long and hard to break into the museum field. Both parts of my life are valuable to me.

Making family a priority might be a counter-cultural choice that will keep me from becoming a super-famous and powerful curator, but I'm ok with that.When I freak out the logistics of my future motherhood, The Betrothed is always level-headed. He reassures me that his professor schedule won't be a typical 9 to 5 gig. Sometimes he'll gently chide me, saying "Hey, you're forgetting that there's another adult in the equation here!" It's so encouraging to know that raising a family is a project we'll tackle together. As Jen Fulweiler recently pointed out, fatherhood is a man's vocation, not his career.

So what kind of mom will I be? I have no idea.  Will The Betrothed and I be able to balance our work schedules so one of us is always home? Will I chase after little ones during the day and then work on a journal article after they're in bed? Will I leave my field altogether, or will I go back for a PhD once the kids are school-aged? It's too soon to tell. For now I just have to keep asking God how I'm supposed to serve him with all my abilities.

Any over-educated moms out there? I'd love to know how/if you balance scholarship and parenthood.

We're getting married!

Now for the good news: what I held off announcing on Ash Wednesday is that The Beau and I are engaged! (Should I call him The Betrothed now?) He popped the question on Friday night, starting off what was definitely the best Birthday/President's Day/Mardi Gras weekend ever.

I had suspected something might be up, but Mark completely surprised me by asking the minute I arrived in New Jersey. My Bolt bus was late, we had to reschedule dinner, the Newark train station was confusing, and then I couldn't find him on the train platform when I arrived. Once the crowd cleared and we met up I was ready to lug my bags off. 

But then he said "Wait, I want to ask you something...do you like sacraments?" 

Then in a moment that was both in slow motion and over too fast, he knelt down and asked if I would like to enter into the sacrament of matrimony with him. I dropped all my bags and managed to squeak out "Are you serious?!?!" and then "Yes, of course!" I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably in disbelief for the next five minutes as we ran to catch our dinner reservation. The next day we called our families, and then hosted a dinner party where we told most of The Betrothed's friends. (This engagement party had been cleverly disguised as a birthday party for me. Sneaky!)

The train platform was really the perfect spot. Not only are trains romantic locations in old movies, but this one is next door to his church. It's the same place where I spied him in the campus ministry center, waiting for me to get back from thesis research in New York. And it's pretty symbolic of our 2.5 year long-distance relationship, punctuated by trips up and down the eastern seaboard. 

My ring is also perfect, which shows how well he knows me. The diamonds are from his grandmother's engagement ring, and he had the setting custom made based on a 1940s design he liked. I'd be a fool to reject a man who can invest such great material culture research. 

Being engaged feels both normal and surreal at the same time. In many ways our relationship is the same it has always been, and yet we can finally speak of hopes and dreams that were under wraps until now. It's so great to talk openly about things from wedding readings to our future children to what kind of drapes we would buy for our home. So the past few days have been full of "OMG we're getting married," "future husband," "future wife," and of course, many recitations of this classic Seinfeld scene. 

Last Quick Takes of 2011

--- 1 ---

Soo, that Advent wreath photo project was not as prolific as I had hoped. This year for some reason I am more timid about whipping out my camera to document a church after Mass. Still,  I did take some fun touristy field trips - here are installments 1, 2, and 3.

--- 2 ---

Last weekend I got to hear The Beau sing in his parish's Advent Lessons and Carols. It definitely got me in the Yuletide spirit. Advent carols should always have timpani accompaniment.

--- 3 ---

It looks like the fresh, cheap British takeaway chain Pret A Manger has made the leap across the pond! There's one in Manhattan, and lately I've seen two in DC. I just had to stop at the one in Union Station on my way to catch my train to The Beau's Lesson and Carols in New Jersey.
Me: "OMG how long have ya'll been here?!?!?!"
Bemused cashier in reindeer headband: "Since Tuesday. I know, people keep freaking out and saying they recognize us from London. Honestly, this time of year Pret is the last thing on my mind."

Via IamDCDG

Seriously, though, you should check them out. They win my allegiance for listing allergen information and for personally responding to customer emails. Pret got me though my two week frigid museum death march/London trip of a lifetime.

--- 4 ---

My sister and I were victorious in our bridesmaid dress mission for Brother #1's June wedding. This was our  inspiration

but this is what I ended up choosing. The best part? The dress has POCKETS. Thank you, fashion designers, for allowing me to carry Lactaid pills and tissues.

--- 5 ---

Speaking of blue, that is also the color scheme for our family portrait today. I'm excited to actually be in it this time. The last parish directory photo was great, except for the fact that I was out of town....

--- 6 ---

Reasons #467 - 469 why I love my job: The VP of Finance made festive earrings for all the ladies in the office, there was gluten free pizza for lunch, and my new Russian boss is teaching us the Cyrillic alphabet one letter a day.

--- 7 ---

I might schedule some posts for the Christmas Octave, but otherwise this is my last big installment until after I return from ringing in the new year in New Orleans with The Beau's family, Have a blessed, joyous Yuletide everyone!

The Christmas wreath at St. Mark, the parish where I grew up

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes Vol. 13?

--- 1 ---

I have Veteran's Day off, something I didn't realize until three days ago. This morning I am thinking about World War I (since this was originally Armistice Day), and considering a donation to the Wounded Warrior Project.

--- 2 ---

Speaking of veterans, I finally visited the Stonewall Jackson Shrine that randomly lurks off I-95. Check out my post about it on my museum blog.

--- 3 ---

Last night I turned to Brother #3 and said, "In the morning, I'm makin' WAFFLES!" Our parents have this sweet George Foreman grill with waffle iron plates. You don't even need non-stick spray! My last GF waffle experiment was quickly gobbled up by even the normal eaters.

--- 4 ---

It even has POCKETS!

This week I reached an adult milestone: I now own a wool-blend suit. Like the kind professional people wear. All those Anne Taylor Loft sale emails were not total spam. This is the jacket, and there are pants to match.
My Fall fashion mantra is, "A jacket covers a multitude of sins." Seriously, pair a blazer with a cute necklace and no one will notice your faded jeans or the fact that you lost a shirt button on your way to work.

--- 5 ---

By this time next week, The Beau should be ABD! That's academese for "all but dissertation," meaning your coursework and qualifying exams are done and your advisors have approved your research proposal. Please say a prayer for him, because there are few things more nerve-racking than asking someone to validate your life plan.

--- 6 ---

On a happier note, my job is still awesome. We accountants are usually the last to leave, so by 5:30pm things get a little loopy. This week we had a stirring group rendition of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain," which prompted our new Russian team member to retaliate with YouTube videos of dancing Cossacks.

--- 7 ---

I've been pondering it for a while, but I've decided it's time to make this happen: next week is going to be Mormonpalooza on this blog. The LDS Church fascinates me, so I'm going to ponder their role in modern American pop culture. I'd love for you to check it out next week!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Emotional Chastity: What Would Miss Austen Do?

Here is my belated contribution to this week's Bright Maidens blog topic: Emotional Chastity.

It's a rite of passage that happened every summer I worked at "high school history camp": a group of teenage girls discovered Jane Austen movie adaptations. The best reactions came from Ang Lee's exquisite 1995 version of Sense and Sensibility. (Spoiler alert, if you have been under a rock for the 200 years since the novel was written.)

Why is a good man in breeches so hard to find?

SWOON! as Willoughby scoops up injured Marianne as if she "weighed no more than a dried leaf." GASP! when he later betrays her affections. MOURN! for Elinor when Lucy Steele's "prior claims" threaten to separate her from Edward forever. CHEER! the final happy ending.

And after the credits roll, you just might pine for your own dashing waistcoat on horseback, ready to woo you with flowers, sonnets, and heroic deeds.

As much as I love movies of  Jane's books, I do have to admit that they carry a subtle temptation for women to objectify men. Instead of viewing them as complex persons, we might value them solely for their potential to give us the romantic costume-drama experiences we desire. Consider, for example, this brilliant but ridiculous video.



Taken to an extreme, this is emotional porn - just the exciting payoff without any of the patience, sacrifice, and real love that a relationship demands.

In chastity-minded circles, Austen novels are popular PG-rated romantic entertainment for young women. After all, the heroes are polite, the heroines are virtuous, and a  marriage commitment is their goal. That's all well and good, but Austen's true genius lies not in wholesomeness but in wry social commentary. One of the lessons her heroines often learn is not to be too in love with love. Heartbreak almost destroys Marianne Dashwood, while Emma Woodhouse's obsession with matchmaking blinds her to authentic relationships.

Austen's underappreciated first novel, Northanger Abbey, bases the entire plot on Catherine Morland's silly obsession with Gothic novels. Reading too many 19th century equivalents of Twilight has made her suspect horrid drama around every corner. In the end, she assumes dreadful things about her suitor and his family, putting a budding romance in jeopardy. The snarky point is clear: ladies, lay off the fiction and interact with some real people for a change.

Not gonna lie, I still love a good petticoat-filled chick flick. In his first email to me, my boyfriend got my attention by asking what I thought about the 2008 adaptation of S&S. (A shrewd move on his part.) But a week after our first date, I found myself flipping through one of those Pride and Prejudice happily-ever-after sequels at Barnes & Noble. Suddenly, the manufactured plot of Regency romance was unfullfilling. Mr. Darcy was charming enough, but he wasn't as intriguing as the red-headed southern boy whom I could learn about in hours of real-life conversation. The Beau had talents, opinions, dreams, and memories that could fill more than just one volume. I put the book back on the shelf, ready to find greater satisfaction in writing my own love story.

7 Quick Takes of a Lotus-Eating Summer

Well gosh, that blogging break was longer than I planned. It's been a weird few months since I finished grad school, and I've needed some time to reflect on all the changes in my life. I have a recurring feeling that I am on the island of the Lotus Eaters from the Odyssey: in the familiar comforts of home, I quickly forget what my previous life was like. Classes, the library, museum catalogs, blog posts, even visits from The Beau have felt very far away once I returned to my childhood home. It's a lazy, very unsettling feeling.

On the other hand, moving back home to northern Virginia has been a blessing in many ways. As I drive around the suburbs, passing familiar elementary schools, churches, and shopping centers makes my life flash before my eyes. There have been some great new developments as well. So here's what I did on my summer vacation.

• Attended two weddings, one of which involved an epic road trip with my grad school classmates, who are like the 7 siblings I never had. 
• Became an American History curriculum consultant for some homeschoolers. I have a new appreciation for textbook authors who can actually add interesting narrative details. 
• Attended the funeral of Dr. Warren Carroll, a warrior for the Truth and the first professor I ever heard lecture. He and his wife Anne are two of my greatest historian role models. 
• Threw out my back, and spent several hermit-like weeks at the mercy of a chiropractor. Having someone make your neck crack at 8am can actually be cool. 
• Took a spontaneous trip to Chicago to visit relatives I had not seen in 2 years. 
• Contrary to my fears, did not shrivel up and die of misery when The Beau went to England for 6 weeks of dissertation research on martyrdom. I went to adoration and wrote him letters, he befriended senior citizens at church and sent me postcards. I don't miss the 5 hour Skype time difference though. 
•  And now, for something completely different - I  got a job as an accounting clerk that has actually turned out to be pretty awesome. Something like half the employees at this software company are Steubenville alumni, which means I have a nice Catholic community in the office. Also, reconciling credit card statements is surprisingly satisfying. Invoice filing has also inspired me to be more vigilant about my own finances. I now monitor my accounts using Mint.com, a free, secure, online version of Quicken that I highly recommend. 

Now that I'm a working girl, I'm excited to resume blogging as a creative outlet. Stay tuned for reflections on homeschooling, Mormons, and random song lyrics.

7 Quick Updates

It's been rather nice being on blog silence for a while, but I feel like I should at least check in here. I've still been keeping up with everyone else's posts, though. If you're looking for more fun stuff to read check out the other linkups to 7 Quick Takes Friday on Hallie Lord's fun blog.

1. I'm back home in northern Virginia for reals this time! Tonight I switched my address on my car insurance so you know it's official. Added bonus: my rates are cheaper here. 
2. "Living at home" (isn't that a weird redundant expression?) has never had a dull moment. Already I've been to a homeschool conference, made a sextuple batch of pasta salad for a graduation party,  watched baby birds learn to fly, and relearned the art of grocery shopping for a crowd. 
3. Yesterday I had an impromptu interview for a  part-time babysitting job. Please pray that this works out! It would be so encouraging to be employed, even a little bit. 
4. While it's frustrating not to have clear employment prospects, I'm grateful for this time to spend in my beloved DC area. Already I've gotten to reconnect with a lot of friends from high school and college.
5. For instance, today my longtime friend S. and I went on a museum romp around the national mall. If you have never been to the Hirshorn Gallery, I highly recommend it. There is lots of interesting, quirky modern art but nothing too entirely bizarre.
6. Meanwhile, the Beau has safely made it to London for several weeks of dissertation research. Figuring out Skype with a 5 hour time difference has been tricky, but I am so excited for him to have this opportunity. 
7. Finally, I hate to end on a sad story, but I feel like I should spread the word about a teacher at a local Catholic high school who has gone missing. Please pray that Tom Duesterhaus comes home safely!

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Posts are going to be a little sporadic here as I deal with the aftermath of getting my master's and gradually move back to my parents' house. I'll be packing up my apartment, visiting friends, and maybe even reading history books for fun.

It's funny how graduating will get certain songs stuck in my head, No, I'm not talking about that Vitamin C 90's hit, although I am a shameless fan of Semisonic's one hit wonder, Closing Time. When I left college I got all weepy to the ballad "For Good" from Wicked, but this time around the mental soundtrack has been a little more random. Here are some songs helping me make the transition to the "real world."

"Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder.
Don't you know the hardest part is over?...
Our lives are made in these small hours,
These little wonders,
These twists and turns of fate."

I think I cried for some reason every day last week, and one of those times was when this song came on Pandora when I was sorting photos for a professor's graduation slideshow. Let me tell you, with each note and click of the mouse, I was  this much closer to bawling. It's the everyday conversations, book recommendations, car trips, and goofy smiles that built my relationships in grad school. Knowing my classmates by their mannerisms and the color of their tote bags is one thing I'll miss the most. Luckily, we've taken hundreds of photos that each capture a moment of the 24 months that have changed our lives forever.

The lyrics are reassuring too, especially when you have no idea where your life is headed next. Good old Divine Providence got me into this M.A. program, so I shouldn't think God is gonna quit on me now.

"The Last Time" - Blind Boys of Alabama

This may be the last time, I don't know.

As I leave my museum alma mater, there are so many uncertainties - is this the last time I will see some of these people? Is this the last time I'll pas a professor in the hallway? Will I ever roam around the halls of the collections again? I intend to delay my last drive around the grounds as long as possible.

"You Got the Love" - Florence and the Machine  

(previously recorded by Candi Staton, The Source, and Joss Stone)

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying Lord, I just don't care

But you've got the love I need to see me through

If anything can make you want to throw up your hands and yell, "Jesus take the wheel," it's grad school.

 The entire process can seem designed to make you doubt yourself and question your purpose in life. My degree is as much a testament to my support system as it is to my book learnin'. From my professors who always kept their doors open, to the classmates happy to vent in the library at 11pm, to the family and friends who have humored two years of geeking out over furniture, to The Beau who has stayed up past his bedtime helping me edit presentations, there's been an army of people I could count on. Sometimes it's been hard to keep caring, but in the end, I'm humbled and grateful to be surrounded by such love.

7 Beginnings and Ends

Happy Friday!  Since my graduation is only a week away, this installment is going to be about some of the many "lasts" and "firsts" I'm currently experiencing. Many thanks to Jen for hosting the 7 Quick Takes linkup at Conversion Diary.

1.Tonight I turned in my last graduate school paper. Ever. It felt so surreal. Then my art history professor fed us tacos and pickled cactus, and it was delicious.

2. Last night I worked on said paper by pulling what I hope is my last almost-all-nighter in a long, long time. I've been avoiding graduation emotions, but as I turned off the library lights at 1am there was this sudden bittersweet feeling that it was the end of an era. I might shed a tear when I return all my books next week. 

3. On Monday I'll go on my last grad school field trip.We'll be touring the White House and Capital Building. This will be my first time seeing the inside of each, despite having grown up near them.

4. I got a new camera! Ever since my old Olympus died last summer I've been yearning to have a "real camera" again.My little point-and-shoot has taken good close-up images, but it makes me feel like I'm at the mercy of it's little buttons instead of in control of the situation. So, I took advantage of the magical, wonderful part of grad school known as "professional development funds" to buy a Nikon d3100. 

Check out this inefficient packing. Great job Sears, I am now the proud owner of  gallons of Styrofoam peanuts.

After I got over my initial buyer's remorse, I was delighted to see how well the camera handles both close up and action shots.

 

 

My first time shooting with my new toy was also probably the last time The Beau and I will have a date strolling around the museum grounds. I should send the gardens paths a thank-you card for being such a fun, free activity in the early months of our relationship.


5. My sister started her first museum summer job this week. I'm so excited for her, and can't wait to hear how this colonial farm work turns out. I'm imaging she'll get really buff carrying pails of water and hoeing crops. 


6. This just in: The Beau completed and passed his second and last Ph.D comprehensive exam! I am so glad his tough academic year is done, and I'm so proud of him I could burst.

7. Finally, I am pleased to announce that I have...drumroll please...a NEW BLOG! Chasing Claudia Kincaid is named for the heroine of From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, one of my all-time favorite books. This blog will focus on my thoughts about museums, art, and material culture, freeing up this space to write more about my faith and whatever other random things I feel like. "Claudia" is also my first attempt at using the Wordpress platform, so it will be an interesting learning experience. She'd love it if you paid her a visit!

Ten Facts about Me and The Beau

Betty Beguiles has this fun feature "about me and my better half" going on her blog, so I though I'd join in. Here are some fun facts about me and The Beau, who's really been deserving a better explanation for a while.

1. He's a New Orleans native, I'm a Virginian. So how did we end up long-distance dating in the northeast? Grad school and the OK Cupid dating website. 
2. He got my attention in his first email message by asking if I'd seen the new Sense and Sensibility adaptation. (He later admitted this was a calculated move.) Then I got his attention by agreeing that William III and Mary II totally stole the English throne from her Catholic father James II. Thus a history nerd romance was born. 
3. Our first date was on the feast of the Assumption, August 15, 2009. Meeting for coffee and dinner turned into six hours of conversation before he finally drove back to New Jersey. 
4. His blog nickname comes from the brief period before we were "Facebook official" and I needed some way to describe "That guy who drove 2 hours to meet me at Brew-Ha-Ha" to my classmates. "The Beau" seemed appropriately olde timey. 
5. We both love photography, so many of our early dates involved taking pictures in parks and on my museum grounds. Then my DSLR broke and school got crazy, so we need to get back into that.
6. Before we met he didn't know anything about gluten-intolerance, but he's been amazingly supportive about it. He's even gotten me to be more assertive asking about ingredients in restaurants! The day we figured out how to make gumbo with a GF roux was a big victory. 
7. He went to Jesuit High School in New Orleans, so the Jesuits are a big part of his spirituality. I've got a Vincentian background, so we educate each other. 
8. Due to geographic distance, our moms have never met, but we are pretty sure they are almost the same person. Bonus: my mom was taught by Jesuits at SLU, his mom has a Vincentian confessor. 
9. This summer and fall he will be in London doing history dissertation research. At first I dreaded it horribly, but I've gradually become more peaceful about it and more excited for him to have this opportunity. 
10. Ever since our third date (when we became Facebook official) we like to hold hands during the homily at Mass - except when he's in the choir loft at his parish.

Museums in Movies: Vertigo

At The Beau's request, here are my thoughts on Vertigo, the Hitchcock film we watched this weekend. It's a bit more sinister than my last Museums in Movies installment. The theme of this movie is “Jimmy Stewart be creepin’.” Also “historic sites will try to haunt and kill you.” There are actually some similarities to When in Rome – obsessive love, charmed and cursed objects – but here horror is the director’s intention, not a side effect of bad writing.Vertigo is complex enough for some genuine nerdtastic analysis.

Jimmy Stewart plays John Ferguson aka Scotty, a San Francisco police detective sidlined by the vertigo and acrophobia he recently developed on an intense suspect chase.  He's coping with forced retirement by hanging out with his platonic-but-not-really BFF Midge, who inhabits a modernist world that is too dull, practical, and safe. One of her design projects is a backless, strapless cantilever bra, reducing the mysterious female figure to engineering formulas. (And let’s be honest ladies – that contraption would never work.) Bertoia chairs and soothing Mozart aren’t enough to win Scotty’s heart. Poor Midge, like her Mattel namesake, she’ll always be the runner up.

Luckily, a commission from a old friend gets Scotty back in action. Gavin Elster's concerned that his wife Madeleine may be possessed by her Haunting Tragic Ancestor, and so hires Scotty to tail her. The world of the Elsters is more exciting and mysterious. It’s also color coded. When husband is in charge, we see red. His plush office carpet is tomato colored, and the dining room at Ernie’s Restaurant has some out of control ruby flocked wallpaper. Green is the wife’s signature color, at least when her identity is solid. She wears green outfits, drives an emerald car, and later appears near a lime neon sign. When things start to get hazy, she’s often clad in gray or earth tones.

Ok, you’re saying, enough about decorative arts; where’s the museum you promised me? Actually there are several historic places on display throughout the film. Historians and detectives do a lot of the same work, except the people scholars stalk are already dead. Scotty's travels around San Francisco looking for information are a lot like the scavenger hunt that is historical research. Unlike this researcher, he has the uncanny ability to find perfect parking spots everywhere he goes.

Don't forget the sweet dec arts around the corner, ma'am!

First, there’s the art museum where Mrs. Elster goes to stare at the Haunting Tragic Ancestor Portrait of DOOM. Thanks to Scotty’s visual acuity, he notices that her hair and flowers are the same as those in the painting. A+ for connoisseurship, pal! As a reward, he gets a free catalog from a cheerful security guard. For reals? Parking at this museum is awesome too – he just pulls up at the front curb.I want to go on a field trip there. 

Second, Madeleine heads to another favorite primary source - a cemetery. She pauses to stare at the Haunting Tragic Ancestor Grave of FOREBODING. Scotty wisely takes notes on the inscription afterwards, instead of taking a rubbing of of the stone and potentially damaging its surface. A+ for conservation!

Then, the lady in gray leads him to the Historic House Hotel of MYSTERY. This house has late 19th century aesthetic movement furnishings - did it seem stale and dated to 1960s audiences, or charming and olde timey? Either way, Scotty is too busy extorting information from Ellen Corby the desk lady to look for clues in the interiors. C for decorative arts appreciation, you're slipping. 

Luckily Scotty redeems himself by interviewing Midge's friend the bookstore owner about Haunting Tragic Ancestor. A+ for oral history records, and he's back in my good graces. 

Then Madeleine makes her Ophelia-like leap into San Francisco Bay, and while she's recovering Scotty gets her to spill about the Historic Mission Town of NIGHTMARES. That's it, time for a roadtrip to the living history village. When they get there she lures him into the Livery Stable of ADULTEROUS SMOOCHING, and has flashbacks about growing up in the ye olde days. And he's all "Honey, I know the brochure said you would step into life in the past, but this is weirding me out. Also, when was the last time you heard someone say 'livery stable' in everyday conversation?" Before he can get her out of the carriage and back into the 20the century, she makes a run for the Mission Bell Tower of DEATH and DIZZINESS, and that's when things really start to get crazy.

I won't spoil the rest, since the film's power lies in all the unanswered questions. What is reality? Who can be trusted? Is the past out to get us? Can Scotty use the power of fashion to manipulate womankind and his own heart? Were those real nuns or costumed interpreters?  

No matter the answers, Hitchcock gets an A++ for using the unknowns of history and the multiple meanings of objects to tell a spellbinding story.

Pressure Cooker

"Don't make fun of the grad students, Bart. They just made a terrible life choice."- Marge Simpson

Last week was really icky. Grad school can sure mess with your head. Suddenly I found myself doubting and questioning pretty much everything in which I thought I believed. It was like there was a demon whispering in my ear that my life was pathetic and boring, and that there was nothing on this earth that could make me happy. Thank the Lord there were lots of good things on the horizon to cheer me up and give me a reality check. Here's the top ten in chronological order.

1. My grad prgram had a career panel consisting entirely of alumnae who are married with kids but also employed in museums. They all emphasized work/life balance and not neglecting your family for a stressful, high power job.

2. On my way out of town on Saturday, I ran to confession at a nearby church. The priest was a wonderful grandfatherly man who told me not to be too hard on myself. "You're just in a pressure cooker right now, gearing up for the next thing." Kind advice plus sacramental forgiveness = why I am glad to be Catholic.

3. When I arrived in New Jersey, I discovered The Beau had bought me flowers the color of autumn leaves :-)

4. After talking about it for ages, we finally cooked gumbo combining gluten-free roux (1/2 sourghum, 1/2 brown rice flour) with vegtables and stock

and chicken, andouille and rice. It was delicious.

5. On Sunday I tagged along to a choir concert/evening prayer at the Diocese of Metuchen cathedral. Why yes, I photographed the architecture.

6. On Monday I took another thesis field trip to New Tork, this time to Trinity Wall Street (the church at the end of National Treasure. Nicholas Cage did not actually find a fortune there.) The Trinity archivists were super nice and I even found some records of vestment purchases. A friendly security guard offered to take my picture while I was exploring the church.

7. I met my friend Laura for lunch uptown, emerging from the subway at yet another Anglo-Catholic church, St. Bart's.

8. After lunch, I went looking for a restroom. Laura suggested I try the Waldorf Astoria lobby. Good call!

9. The Trinity rector diaries were fun but not useful, so I cut out early and visited the Statue of Liberty instead. Hey lady, I'm tired and poor over here!

10.When I got off my train back to Jersey, I could look out from the platform and see where The Beau was doing homework and waiting for me. And when I got back to Delaware, my aunt was in town on business and we went out to dinner! It's nice to come home to people you love. Maybe I'll make it out of this pressure cooker after all.

Gluten Free Recipes: Birthday Cake!

Since I went gluten-free four years ago, birthday cake has been one of the hardest foods to navigate. I can't just dive in whenever someone blows out the candles. One of my favorite solutions was the cake my roommate made for me senior year in undergrad. She knew I ate Reese's peanut butter cups, so she filled a cake pan with them and stuck candles in their centers. Perfect!

I've tried some GF cake mixes in my time, but this past weekend I successfully made my first from-scratch cake, in honor of my beau's birthday. Everyone agreed it was a success, and the leftovers tasted even better the next day. It was moist and spongey, unlike many a GF baked good.

GF Chocolate Cake

From Life Tastes Good Again by Kirtsti Kirkland and Betsy Thomas

1 3/4 cup GF flour (I used 1 cup brown rice, 1/2 cup sourghum, and 1/4 cup cornstarch)
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
2 c. sugar
3/4 c. cocoa
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 c. sour cream
1/2 c. oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. boiling water

Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour baking pan(s).

Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl.
In a larger bowl, beat eggs well. Add sour cream, oil, and vanilla to eggs; mix.
Beat in dry ingredients.
Slowly stir in boiling water. Mix well, making sure to scrape down sides and bottom of bowl.
Pour into prepared pan.

I used two round cake pans that took 30-40 minutes to bake. The recipe also suggests
a 9x13 pan for 35-40 minutes
a 13x18 pan for 17-20 minutes.