Summer challenges

I thought this summer would be the same as years past, racing from one event to another. The past month of travel has definitely been that way, but now I'm back at school and facing some new challenges. Things in Delaware are a little boring, and the silence is deafening. I haven't had this much time to myself pretty much ever, and the solitude frightens me. I'm used to having a crowd of siblings or housemates in the background making noise, not planning out in advance every time I will have contact with another human. Some of my classmates are also in town, but we don't have class or library reserve books to pull us together.

Hard as it is, I think this experience is going to be good for me. After a few days of moping around watching TLC constantly, I've started making time for things like daily Mass and even serious exercise. There are friends I desperately owe phone calls to. I need to learn to be an adult on my own terms.

I'm also re-assesing what I want from a scholarly life. Right now, the prospect of spending 8 weeks only with books and online databases is not exciting. Is this loneliness the same when you are writing a book or dissertation? If so, I don't want it. I want to talk to other people, belong to a community of scholars. Introvert I may be, but I am not cut out to be a recluse with 8 cats and a library.

Then again, finding friends is inherently harder when you've left the massive peer pool of college. Working in a cubicle or even staying home with babies can be just as isolating. Final verdict: the real world is scary.