7 Quick Takes, Vol. 11

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I just discovered the amazingly useful blog Pray More Novenas. It emails you the novena prayers every morning - idiotproof prayer. If you are like me and can never remember to keep up all 9 days, you should give this a try.

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I blame these cute but sappy books. 

The novena I've been praying is for St. Therese's feast day tomorrow. To be honest, I have never been a big fan of hers. Usually she's portrayed as a saccharine ingenue, ringlets bouncing as she skips through life scattering rose petals. She charmed her parents, her sisters, even the Pope! Gag me with a spoon.

Honestly, her life wasn't really like that, so I should give her a break. This novena has been a surprisingly profound experience. I feel more at peace about life, more aware of God's presence. There are signs of the same thing happening for some of my novena intentions, too.

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The accounting department at my office moved to a bigger room, which means I get my own desk! No longer am I perched on a 2.3' segment at the end of my boss' desk. I even have my own stapler and tape dispenser now. Feels like I am moving up in the world. 

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Awesome - getting a pretty silver silk blouse as a swanky "hand me down" from my aunt. Awkward - tearing a seam in the slightly snug sleeve, and repairing it with said tape dispenser in a corporate restroom.

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Yesterday I think I put 100 miles on my car driving to the chiropractor, work, and then a cocktail reception at an historic house in Georgetown. Even though the traffic here is ridonkulous, I still love driving toward DC. It feels like all of us commuters are headed somewhere exciting and important. Also, once I have crossed the Potomac I can start drooling over historic architecture.If I could hug an Italianate townhouse, I would.

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If you've ever tried to look up Mass times online, you probably discovered that most parish websites are even more insufficient than the church's restroom facilities. For every visually appealing, user friendly site, there are ten thousand Web 1.0 monstrosities with tiny print, weird scrolling messages and the confession schedule buried deep in the menu under "community" or "about us."

You know what can be even worse? Catholic bookstores. This week I consulted one that described the store inventory as "appropriate gifts." Another had online purchasing, but no mentions of store hours. They received the wrath I normally reserve for job applications that require me to physically mail in a copy of an unsavable PDF form.

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The liturgical calendar for October always makes me happy - woah, how did all these awesome saints get scheduled in the same week? In my own calendar there are tons of birthdays, too. Happy birthday to my BFF K.D. tomorrow, and to my Mom on Sunday!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Homeschool Conference Bingo

For the record, I was never homeschooled myself. My early education was a patchwork of public and independent Catholic schools, driven by my parents' determination to get me the best education possible. Once I was settled at a tiny yet awesome Catholic high school, my Mom did homeschool two of my siblings for a few years. She's getting back in the saddle homeschooling Brother #3 this fall, and so that is how I found myself at a  homeschooling conference this June.

If you live in the DC area, you may know that the IHM conference is the biggest Catholic homeschool event of the year. There are tons of notable speakers, and the people watching is amazing. I felt like some sort of anthropological participant observer. I understand who these people are, and I can speak their language, but I am still not quite one of them. Nevertheless, I made sure to layer several modesty tanks under my v-neck shirt and wear my flowiest skirt, lest I be pegged as an outsider. Nobody sniffed out that I have two degrees from heathen public universities, and I had a great time. I found some good books at vendor tables, and now I am kicking myself for not inventing Piusmedia, a Netflix-like service for Catholic movies.

A gathering this huge showcases how Catholic homeschooling is its own subculture, and thus a huge business market. Parents this dedicated to their children's education invest plenty of time, money, and energy, and it's encouraging to meet others doing the same thing. Just walking through the parking lot makes you realize how many like-minded people are jostling around the hotel ballrooms and vendor booths. Large families and ankle-length skirts are just the beginning. If you'd like to give home education a closer look, try this Bingo game next time you go curriculum shopping.

Evelyn Waugh blog alert!

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I like Evelyn Waugh's writing. A lot. A crotchety, snarky English convert to Catholicism, he alternates between withering criticism of modern society and flowery episodes of spellbinding beauty. 


I'm always excited to find Waugh devotees online - there are even some other blogs with Brideshead Revisited as their namesake! 


The Black Cordelias ( "Send five bob and ask your friends to do the same.")  cites young Cordelia's hilarious enthusiasm for sponsoring babies in the foreign missions. Kudos to this blog's group of authors for finding such adorable pictures of kids in nun costumes.


Sacred Monkeys of the Vatican is a lovely collection of "The Strange, the Random, and the Beautiful." Its author gets a million bonus points for mentioning Cordelia's pranking of half-hearted convert Rex Mottram. That poor unsuspecting Canadian. Teenage little sisters make the worst RCIA instructors.


Earlier this week Why I am A Catholic posted about the convert's prayer in Helena, one of Waugh's loveliest but more obscure works. In that passage, recently-baptized St. Helen prays to the Magi, reflecting on how she and they were late-arriving pilgrims. 


Another of my favorite passages in Helena is her exchange with the peddler who helps her locate the true Cross. (There are some unfortunate twinges of "wandering Jew" anti-Semitism in that character, but that's another story.) Their discussion of relics and kitsch is so marvelously full of material culture. (Emphasis mine.)

"'How I see it, this new religion of the Galilean may be in for quite a run. A religion starts, no one knows how. Soon, you get holy men and holy places springing up everywhere, old shrines change their names, there's apparitions and pilgrimages. There'll be ladies wanting other things besides the cross. All one wants is to get the thing started properly. One wants a few genuine relics in thoroughly respectable hands. Then everyone else will follow. There won't be enough genuine stuff to meet the demand. That will be my turn. I shall get paid. I wouldn't take anything from you now, lady. Glad to see you have the cross. It won't cost you a thing.' 

Helena listened and in her mind saw, clear as all else on that brilliant timeless morning, what was in store. She saw the sanctuaries of Christendom become a fair ground, stalls hung with beads and medals, substances yet unknown pressed into sacred emblems; heard a chatter of haggling in tongues yet unspoken. She saw the treasuries of the Church filled with forgeries and impostures. She saw Christians fighting and stealing to get possession of trash. She saw all this, considered it and said:'It's a stiff price'; and then: 'Show me the cross.'"

Excessive materialism is the ironic flipside of a faith steeped in sensory beauty and physical reminders of the divine. If there are beautiful cathedrals, there can also be glow-in-the-dark Jesus ashtrays, crusaders bickering over bones of saints, and near hoarder-levels of holy card collecting. But is tangible connection to God worth with risk? Oh yeah. 

Long Advent Season of the Heart

“I am the Savior of all people, says the Lord. 

Whatever their troubles, I will answer their 

cry, and I will always be their Lord.”

 - Mass entrance Antiphon for September 18

It is a fact universally acknowledged that the road to romantic happiness can be a long one. Ask any single person in their twenties, and they'll tell you of lonely wonderings when/if they will find "true love." I think this is especially true for young Catholics. If you place a high value on self-giving love and marriage as a sacrament, it's hard to feel somewhat powerless in your wait for that vocation to become reality.

Sometimes there is the temptation to complain "Why me?" or "Why not me?"
"Hey God, I go to daily Mass, I'm chaste. So why am I still waiting for true love while everyone on my Facebook feed gets married and has babies?"
"Why is my relationship hampered by distance, while that couple lives in the same town and get to see each other every day?"
"Why do I see friends zip to the altar through whirlwind courtships, only to have graduate school and finances delay my dreams?"
(Edit: I took out that last hypothetical sentence about break-ups, because it gave the very false impression that The Beau and I are through.)

It's possible to rejoice in friends' happiness and still feel a cruel twinge of sorrow that your turn hasn't come yet. For me, social media updates can be a slippery slope into envious comparisons. This Sunday's readings were a good reality check. Look at the parable of the vinyard workers - does it matter what God gives to other people? No.

The lesson of that parable in Matthew's Gospel is clear - stop looking around to check out what everyone else has. That makes you forget what you do have. Life is not a race, or a competition. God will give you what He has promised, and that is all you ever need.

This first reading, from Isaiah 55, had a similar sentiment.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.

That statement is not a boast, but a reassurance. God has a plan beyond what our feeble minds and hearts can see at the moment.

7 Quick Takes of a Lotus-Eating Summer

Well gosh, that blogging break was longer than I planned. It's been a weird few months since I finished grad school, and I've needed some time to reflect on all the changes in my life. I have a recurring feeling that I am on the island of the Lotus Eaters from the Odyssey: in the familiar comforts of home, I quickly forget what my previous life was like. Classes, the library, museum catalogs, blog posts, even visits from The Beau have felt very far away once I returned to my childhood home. It's a lazy, very unsettling feeling.

On the other hand, moving back home to northern Virginia has been a blessing in many ways. As I drive around the suburbs, passing familiar elementary schools, churches, and shopping centers makes my life flash before my eyes. There have been some great new developments as well. So here's what I did on my summer vacation.

• Attended two weddings, one of which involved an epic road trip with my grad school classmates, who are like the 7 siblings I never had. 
• Became an American History curriculum consultant for some homeschoolers. I have a new appreciation for textbook authors who can actually add interesting narrative details. 
• Attended the funeral of Dr. Warren Carroll, a warrior for the Truth and the first professor I ever heard lecture. He and his wife Anne are two of my greatest historian role models. 
• Threw out my back, and spent several hermit-like weeks at the mercy of a chiropractor. Having someone make your neck crack at 8am can actually be cool. 
• Took a spontaneous trip to Chicago to visit relatives I had not seen in 2 years. 
• Contrary to my fears, did not shrivel up and die of misery when The Beau went to England for 6 weeks of dissertation research on martyrdom. I went to adoration and wrote him letters, he befriended senior citizens at church and sent me postcards. I don't miss the 5 hour Skype time difference though. 
•  And now, for something completely different - I  got a job as an accounting clerk that has actually turned out to be pretty awesome. Something like half the employees at this software company are Steubenville alumni, which means I have a nice Catholic community in the office. Also, reconciling credit card statements is surprisingly satisfying. Invoice filing has also inspired me to be more vigilant about my own finances. I now monitor my accounts using Mint.com, a free, secure, online version of Quicken that I highly recommend. 

Now that I'm a working girl, I'm excited to resume blogging as a creative outlet. Stay tuned for reflections on homeschooling, Mormons, and random song lyrics.