One recent response to it really burned me up, though. Sure, I agree with "The Life of Emily" as a rebuttal of government paternalism. I bet if I met the author, Emily Stimpson, in person, we'd have a lot in common. Her story of success as a professional young woman is inspiring. Making it as a free-lance writer is hard, and she's totally convinced me to open a health savings account.
But her tales of job success hit too close to home for me. It felt like the name-dropping and insensitive boasting of a smug class valedictorian. Sure, she's smart and diligent, but she also got many lucky breaks. One of those was being born 7 years before I was. Right now, there aren't enough merit scholarships and entry-level jobs to go around for even the hard-studying A-students. This sentence in particular burned: "It would never occur to her to still be on her parents’ plan, even if she could. After all, she’s 26—an adult." Well yahoo. I guess that makes me an infant.
Via Economic Policy Institute |
I know, I'm talking about internet comments from strangers here. It doesn't really matter. But this was on a Catholic website. For the first time, I felt attacked personally by my own kind. I couldn't believe the ignorance and lack of compassion.
The "American Dream" is not in the Apostles' Creed, people. Our economy is in flux right now - a college degree doesn't ensure a job anymore. People are relying on their parents for longer into adulthood. The recession is not over. Who knows what career path advice kids will get in five or ten years.
If I were to write "The Life of Sarah," it would read like Emily's, but with more ups and downs. Mine is just one story, and I know there are many people worse off than I. But I am an example of how fortunes can unexpectedly change, and how hard work and good grades don't always win you success. My odyssey into adulthood also shows how sometimes, you need a helping hand.
I went to a state university for the lower tuition, taking out loans and working part-time jobs. At age 20 I contracted a chronic circulatory condition and had to take a year of leave from school. For the next 5 years, this "pre-existing condition" would prevent me from getting coverage outside of my parents' insurance plan. If I didn't have insurance, I couldn't get the medication I needed to function. So yes, I relied on my parents into adulthood.
At age 23 I spent a year with the Vincentian Service Corps in St. Louis. There I saw firsthand how government aid could help some people, like the mom of 5 who used housing assistance money to move away from her abusive meth-addict husband. I also saw the heavy costs of family decline and sexual irresponsibility. I learned how some people just wanted a handout, but all the money in the world couldn't replace the value of caring, challenging mentors. All this time I made $300 a month, so obviously I wasn't building a nest egg. It was worth it.
Source |
At age 26 I got my master's, but not a job like most of my classmates. I moved back in with my parents and worked odd jobs all summer. In a stroke of luck I got an entry-level temp job, replacing an accounting department's college intern. My hourly wage job allows me to pay for my insurance, as well as out-of-pocket treatments for a back injury.
Now at age 27 I know I must help pay for my wedding, but have no idea where I'll be working in a month. A lot of my peers save money by shacking up with significant others, but obviously we won't do that. I'm determined to have Depression-era pluck, looking for whatever gigs I can find. Substitute teaching? Museum volunteering? A temp agency? I'm also going for the novena mother-load, the 54-day rosary. My path is not what I envisioned at age 20, and I do not wish it for my younger siblings. But I refuse to condemn myself for circumstances in some part beyond my control.
So if you want to talk to the Kids Today about their jobs, realize that it's always more complicated than it looks. Here are a few tips.
- Don't conflate individuals with economic trends. Should we have a national conversation about how college is overpriced and maybe not worth it for everyone? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean you should point at a deep-thinking liberal arts major and tell him he should have been a mechanic instead. Don't grill him about whether it's time to "give up" on his field.
- Read this recent piece about the surprising number of PhDs on public assistance. Realize that not everyone on food stamps is a welfare queen - sometimes ambitious, intelligent people turn to welfare as a last resort.
- Don't tell a recent grad "Oh, but aren't there lots of companies in your field where you live?" Yes, we know, as does everyone else with our degree. This is like telling a single woman "Oh, but there are lots of cute guys in your area. Have you tried going to bars?"
- Don't yap about how you or your kids or cousin or brother was a wild success right out of school.
- Do refer underemployed young adults to job openings or to people who might be good professional connections. Whom you know matters, more than ever.
- Do offer practical interview advice based on your own experience. Express sympathy when they get turned down after an interview. Assure them that they are just as capable as their peers; that a lot of this is mysterious luck.
- Do cheer them on with small successes, like part-time retail jobs. Don't lecture them about counting their blessings. They know.
- Do tell them about sales on professional wear at the local outlet mall.
- Do offer to pray for them. Only God knows how we'll get out of this recession mess.
Any other job-seekers reading this? What would you add to my list?
This was a really good approach to this whole issue Sarah, good job! I will certainly admit that my life after college wasn't quite like this, as I went to grad school and then married. However, my husband Stephen was unemployed his first year after college and struggled to stay afloat. He lived in dirt cheap housing in a questionable neighborhood with a roommate to save. We didn't go on trips or buy stuff for ourselves that year because we were also trying to pay for our wedding. For the last couple of months before the wedding, I was paying for my rent and his because he ran out of money. Thankfully he got a job (through a personal connection, you're right on that point!) about 2 months before our wedding, although that required us to move 500 miles from home. Life certainly is crazy for our generation, and while many people goofed off in college and are broke because of that, many people are stuck because jobs are scarce. It really blows.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kendra! Marriage is definitely going to help my finances, haha. My fiance has been able to save a lot more than I have.
DeleteI really wish more adults would understand our situations. When I tell people I haven't had health insurance in over 5 years they freak out. My mom had to drop us because it was costing her over $500/month for healthcare and we haven't been able to afford to get our own or find jobs that pay for it. Somedays I feel like my college professors brainwashed me. They kept saying if you do this or that you'll find a job making $40k out of school. I did everything they said and am barely making half that (with no benefits package).
ReplyDeleteIt's so frustrating when I have friends (sometimes younger than I) who know someone in their field or their parents work in it and get them a high paying job asap. They are now buying houses and such.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this post. I would add to the list: "Don't say, 'You know you can't afford to be picky and may have to work doing something not your ideal job to make ends meet." We know that, and often the reason we aren't working the "not ideal job" you reference is because no one has offered it.
My best to you and the Betrothed in this messy life stage-- I do feel slightly vindicated for marrying young even when some people thought I was strange, since at least now Dan can be on my health insurance. If I'm honest, I tell family that I would quit graduate school if it would help somehow, but I also can't live without comprehensive health coverage, and for us right now school is that. I'm praying for you and all of us.
Right on, Sarah!
ReplyDeleteI was just having a conversation with my boyfriend about how this economy (and my growing faith in Christ and His Church's teaching on social justice) is shifting my once strongly-held, and oft-argued economic philosophy. Your story is a perfect example as to why people who toe the party line are missing entire facets of compassion.
You go girl.
Totally agree with this post in pretty much every way. That article was incredibly smug--and as you point out, the timing was much better for her than for people in our age bracket. Those seven years would have made an enormous difference.
ReplyDeleteI would add to the list: "Don't go on and on about how tough it is and imply that nobody can expect to find a good job in this economy." Sympathy is good; too much of it is a downer. This includes my mom pulling a long face when she found out there were seven other people being interviewed for a job I thought I might get. Without needing to say anything, it was clear she thought that battle was already over and lost, even though I was pretty happy to at least have the interview! Ha ha...oh well. It's important to keep a sense of humor.
This is a very good post, Sarah. I actually had never seen the "life of Julia" garbage-ahem- item. The "life of Emily" post was interesting though.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you on "Should we have a national conversation about how college is overpriced and maybe not worth it for everyone? Absolutely."
I don't think it is exactly a good thing that college is the new high school. It might not be the best fit for everyone.
I second MC above on ""Don't say, 'You know you can't afford to be picky and may have to work doing something not your ideal job to make ends meet." We know that, and often the reason we aren't working the "not ideal job" you reference is because no one has offered it." Right on!!
The problem there is that places don't tend to want to hire over-qualified people. I Guess they think you'll leave as soon as you find something better.
I applied to anything library and even non-library-related that I knew I could do. I applied to library jobs that I was over-qualified for, and they did not even want to interview me. I applied and interviewed for retail and secretary jobs that did not hire me.
And then of course there is no way to get a job that wants the degree and 5 years of experience, because there are many out there better qualified.
I don't know why that didn't show my picture near my name :(
DeleteThank you for this. I've been so frustrated recently. You've given me hope. Life post-college has been one hell of a rollercoaster. I've worked nine jobs in five years, two of which didn't require a mop. I managed to move out of my parent's, but now I'm back again. Can't find steady employment as a grantwriter, but I keep searching! All this and I'm an autistic adult with no car. I don't mind being underemployed and I don't need six figures. 2000 a month, and I could move out and be totally independent. No more social security or Medicare. Ah well. At least my novel's almost done. Tor Fantasy, here I come!
ReplyDeletePS.
I'm Catholic too! Aren't election years fun?
Also, please know that you are incredibly blessed! A master's degree AND a fiancé? Wow! I got excited when I earned five dollars from a short story that got published and had four dates in one year!
ReplyDelete