John the Baptist Continues to Endorse King Herod

JERUSALEM – In a move that surprised some of his followers today, local religious leader John the Baptist issued a statement reinforcing his support for King Herod Antipas. Herod’s rule has come under harsh criticism in recent weeks, due to reports that he had been overheard saying he likes to “grab women by the honeypot” whenever he finds them attractive. Since the story broke, several women in the queen’s household have come forward accusing Herod of forcing himself on them in hallways of the palace. Herod has dismissed their claims, insisting that his statement was just “bathhouse talk.”

John the Baptist acknowledged that such language and behavior are abhorrent to Israel’s traditional moral values, but he called for devout Jews to forgive Herod and continue to support him. “In trying times like these, Herod is exactly the kind of strong leadership we need. Horrible things are happening out there – Tiberius is crucifying people all over the place, the fishermen aren’t catching enough, and the Samaritans are taking our jobs. Herod’s going to make Israel great again! Who are you going to trust instead, a career politician like Pontius Pilate? Herod is a local boy who made good with just a little help from his dad. You can’t deny that his palace is really shiny.

"Who am I to judge this guy?"
Sermon of John the Baptist Before Herod by Guilia Cheli Capella

 “Our religious freedom is currently under attack. Leaked scrolls from Roman tribunes show that they don’t respect or even understand our beliefs. But Herod is willing to pay lip service to the temple rites! He has said he likes having ‘my little wine, my little cracker’ at Passover meals. Maybe he’s no scholar of the law and the prophets, but at least he’s not a baby killer like his predecessor.” Some of John’s followers were still troubled, noting that Herod has a long history of sexual licentiousness. Herod’s current consort, Herodias, is actually the wife of his brother Philip. Not to be deterred, Herod “moved on her heavily, even though she was married.” He is also on record agreeing that his stepdaughter Salome is “a hot piece of ass,” and observing that “If she weren’t my stepdaughter, I’d be dating her”

“Look folks,” John responded, “If there’s anything scripture teaches us, it’s that powerful men can use their authority to get any woman they want. Abraham knew this – he had Sarah pretend to be his sister to save his own skin because he knew Pharaoh would go for her. Obviously Sarah had to be reduced to a pawn in a power play. “King David was the same way; he was automatically attracted to beauty. He peeked in Bathsheba’s bathroom and liked what he saw. He ran the country, shouldn’t he get to inspect the goods? David couldn’t wait, he just had to kiss her, even if she was married. It’s not like God issued condemnation or consequences for David’s actions. Besides, what man hasn’t bragged about raping and pillaging? It’s just how guys bond.

“Women who claim they were sexually assaulted are probably just looking for attention. Remember the case of Susanna, who accused two elders of propositioning her in a locked garden? She must have loved all the publicity of being blackmailed and called a lying harlot. Daniel proved her innocence, so she should just get over being betrayed by men who were supposed to be trusted leaders. It’s not like she died or anything. “Some of you were moved by the emotional speech Pilate’s wife Claudia gave, where she said Herod’s comments make her feel threatened as a woman and how she always held her male relatives to a higher standard, blah, blah, blah. Don’t fall for her hypocrisy. You know she’s a fan of Catullus’ poems, and his lyrics are really smutty, so she has no right to object to sexual violence. Men should be given the benefit of the doubt, but every aspect of a woman’s life must be sifted like grain before we can take her opinions seriously.

“Herod might not be perfect, but who is? The Lord has worked through flawed leaders before and we should trust that He can do it again. I’m confident that Herod will keep devout people’s best interests at heart, and make wise decisions to protect our national sovereignty. I’m willing to stick my neck out for Herod because I trust that his private tendencies for greed, lust, and anger won’t lead to bad political deals."

How About a Shot of Reality with That Juice Box?

Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. - 1 Timothy 4:12

Earlier this month congressional Republicans cancelled a bill restricting abortions after 20 weeks, a law that would have been a huge victory for the pro-life movement. The recent fallout has seen Catholics assessing their loyalty to the GOP and pondering strategies for the future. Recently Crisis published the latest installment of this, a long rant by Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM) leader Austin Ruse entitled "Abortion, Torture, and the Juice Box Theologians."

Ruse treads familiar ground, worrying that Catholic disenchantment with the GOP will dilute what little political clout we have. He raises a fair point, about torture debates creating "single issue voters." Mostly, though, he channels his political disappointment into personal internet feuds, bringing up 2010 debates about the morality of waterboarding. Although some Catholics are increasingly disenchanted at how neither political party fully represents their values, he denounces those who put too much emphasis on the death penalty or a living wage over the pro-life cause.

Sadly, Ruse talks about abortion like it exists in a vacuum. It's a comic book villain holding America in a tractor beam, and if pro-lifers can finally deal it a death-blow with their unreliable laser guns, everyone will shake off the hypnosis and society will live happily ever after. His personal solution to America's moral woes is the repeal of various taxes coupled with "a national campaign out of the White House encouraging people to finish high school, get married, go to church, and have babies."

How exactly would a nation of high school graduates working low minimum wage jobs afford to feed their babies or pay for child care while they work multiple jobs? That version of the Culture of Life doesn't sound very flourishing, let alone sustainable. Such a short-sighted approach ignores the multitude of social and economic factors that make women think abortion is their best option, none of which will magically disappear if Roe v. Wade is overturned. Unless we address the challenges that make parenthood seem impossible, legal pro-life victory will be superficial and fleeting. As one Catholic mom wisely put it, "Want to save the babies? Save their mothers."

Ruse puts his faith in procreation propaganda rather than a nuanced sense of morality and ethics. Instead of taking a holistic outlook that considers respect for any human life beneficial, whether prisoners or laborers or babies, he insists Catholics should only have a one-track mind. If he had been alive in the 1830s, would he have told people to shut up about the Trail of Tears or working conditions at the Lowell mills because Slavery? Would he have considered a White House campaign saying “Be nice to black people” sufficient for post-Civil War reconstruction?

If Ruse wants an intelligent debate about political loyalties, that's fine, But he doesn't offer that here, just an ad hominem screed. Dredging up an obscure beef with group blog Vox Nova, he calls them "Juice-box theologians, that is, mostly young newly minted but largely unemployed PhDs." Apparently these whipper-snappers too incompetent to handle full-time jobs or adult beverages are somehow also at the heart of a vast and dangerous conspiracy to lure Catholics away from their GOP alliances.

Someone hold my earrings because I need to throw. Down. This kind of name-calling is uncalled for, and I can’t believe the editors of  Crisis were willing to print it. I don't know the terms of Ruse's dispute with Vox Nova, but even if the site is in the wrong, this is a terrible rebuttal on many levels. Saying "my opponent is young and underemployed, and therefore incorrect" is just campaign spin. Such smug self-importance supports the old liberal saw that pro-lifers only care about people until they are born; after that you’re on your own. But that's the thing with babies - after their mothers choose life, they learn to talk, read, and write.

Here’s a group of people who have done exactly what Ruse thinks Americans should do: they finished school, and cared enough about churchgoing to spend years studying theology. But that’s not good enough, because they dared to be born decades after him and enter the workforce during a broken economy and academic system.

My husband and I are among many young Catholic couples who fit this category. We’re church-going, contraception-eschewing people who thought pondering the Good, the True, and the Beautiful was our vocation – and now low-paying adjunct gigs are among our only options. Through blood, sweat, and tears, we’re working hard to build fulfilling lives for our little families. If middle class financial security is the barometer of spiritual legitimacy, please let us know and we can call ourselves radical Calvinists to save time.

This is the dilemma facing my Millennial generation: even if we followed all the rules, we've run into unexpected economic challenges and then are told it’s our own fault and we should know our place. People bemoan how the Kids Today aren't devoted to the Church, but then don't fully engage with those of us who have stuck around. If some of us don't share his political ideas, Ruse would rather we just disappeared into the wilderness. "Let’s have a modern day land-rush for all those Distributists out there who are just itching to fish, farm or make cheese—though one suspects they’ll stay exactly where they are, blogging and adjunct teaching."

While he retains his own career as an online journalist, I presume? Apparently Ruse thinks the generations after him don't deserve to aspire to his urban intellectual life. Considering that he once proclaimed that liberal academics "should be taken out and shot," he’s letting us off pretty easy. Still, his pompous attitude makes me question his moral judgement and frankly, feel a little betrayed.

Once upon a time, when I was just a juice box historian in high school, I wrote a report on the Holy See's permanent observer status at the United Nations. Ruse's articles were a major source for the project, and I looked up to him as a Catholic intellectual. I dreamed that one day I would be like him and get my words published on the internet. Now I realize he'd probably mock me for the 18 months I spent working temp gigs while I endlessly searched for a job in my MA field. Since he doesn't even want me here unless I’m drinking his Kool-Aid, I’ll stick to whiskey. Every grad student knows it's an important tool for surviving a PhD program.

How Not to Talk About Underemployed People

There's been a lot of backlash to the Obama campaign's "The Life of Julia." This slick little slideshow shows a woman going through life relying on government funding, even though mean ol' Mitt Romney wants to rip those benefits from her hands. Like all campaign literature, it oversimplifies things and sounds slightly condescending.

One recent response to it really burned me up, though. Sure, I agree with "The Life of Emily" as a rebuttal of government paternalism. I bet if I met the author, Emily Stimpson, in person, we'd have a lot in common. Her story of success as a professional young woman is inspiring. Making it as a free-lance writer is hard, and she's totally convinced me to open a health savings account.

But her tales of job success hit too close to home for me. It felt like the name-dropping and insensitive boasting of a smug class valedictorian. Sure, she's smart and diligent, but she also got many lucky breaks. One of those was being born 7 years before I was. Right now, there aren't enough merit scholarships and entry-level jobs to go around for even the hard-studying A-students. This sentence in particular burned: "It would never occur to her to still be on her parents’ plan, even if she could. After all, she’s 26—an adult." Well yahoo. I guess that makes me an infant.

Via Economic Policy Institute

To top it off, Emily's readers decided that I and other underemployed people who commented were whiny morons lacking American values. Their kids could pay for insurance straight out of school, what's wrong with us? "A master's degree does not entitle you to a job with benefits," scolded one person. He implied I should have gone to trade school instead. The flurry of "dislikes" felt like a spit in the face. These pharisees pointed at me, the 27-year old living with her parents, and said "I thank you, O Lord, that I am not like that."

I know, I'm talking about internet comments from strangers here. It doesn't really matter. But this was on a Catholic website. For the first time, I felt attacked personally by my own kind. I couldn't believe the ignorance and lack of compassion.


The "American Dream" is not in the Apostles' Creed, people. Our economy is in flux right now - a college degree doesn't ensure a job anymore. People are relying on their parents for longer into adulthood. The recession is not over. Who knows what career path advice kids will get in five or ten years.

If I were to write "The Life of Sarah," it would read like Emily's, but with more ups and downs. Mine is just one story, and I know there are many people worse off than I. But I am an example of how fortunes can unexpectedly change, and how hard work and good grades don't always win you success. My odyssey into adulthood also shows how sometimes, you need a helping hand.

I went to a state university for the lower tuition, taking out loans and working part-time jobs. At age 20 I contracted a chronic circulatory condition and had to take a year of leave from school. For the next 5 years, this "pre-existing condition" would prevent me from getting coverage outside of my parents' insurance plan. If I didn't have insurance, I couldn't get the medication I needed to function. So yes, I relied on my parents into adulthood.

At age 23 I spent a year with the Vincentian Service Corps in St. Louis. There I saw firsthand how government aid could help some people, like the mom of 5 who used housing assistance money to move away from her abusive meth-addict husband. I also saw the heavy costs of family decline and sexual irresponsibility. I learned how some people just wanted a handout, but all the money in the world couldn't replace the value of caring, challenging mentors. All this time I made $300 a month, so obviously I wasn't building a nest egg. It was worth it.

Source

At age 25 I was in a competitive master's program that provided a tuition fellowship and stipend. I could not have afforded grad school any other way. When my Dad lost his job, I emptied my "wedding dress slush fund" savings into COBRA fees to extend my insurance coverage. A generous gift from a relative helped me pay these fees and buy a very sensible, very used car. My cardiologist declared me mostly free of symptoms, and so I could finally purchase basic insurance through my university.

At age 26 I got my master's, but not a job like most of my classmates. I moved back in with my parents and worked odd jobs all summer. In a stroke of luck I got an entry-level temp job, replacing an accounting department's college intern. My hourly wage job allows me to pay for my insurance, as well as out-of-pocket treatments for a back injury.

Now at age 27 I know I must help pay for my wedding, but have no idea where I'll be working in a month. A lot of my peers save money by shacking up with significant others, but obviously we won't do that. I'm determined to have Depression-era pluck, looking for whatever gigs I can find. Substitute teaching? Museum volunteering? A temp agency? I'm also going for the novena mother-load, the 54-day rosary. My path is not what I envisioned at age 20, and I do not wish it for my younger siblings. But I refuse to condemn myself for circumstances in some part beyond my control.

So if you want to talk to the Kids Today about their jobs, realize that it's always more complicated than it looks. Here are a few tips.

• Don't conflate individuals with economic trends. Should we have a national conversation about how college is overpriced and maybe not worth it for everyone? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean you should point at a deep-thinking liberal arts major and tell him he should have been a mechanic instead. Don't grill him about whether it's time to "give up" on his field. 
• Read this recent piece about the surprising number of PhDs on public assistance.  Realize that not everyone on food stamps is a welfare queen - sometimes ambitious, intelligent people turn to welfare as a last resort. 
• Don't tell a recent grad "Oh, but aren't there lots of companies in your field where you live?" Yes, we know, as does everyone else with our degree. This is like telling a single woman "Oh, but there are lots of cute guys in your area. Have you tried going to bars?"
• Don't yap about how you or your kids or cousin or brother was a wild success right out of school. 
• Do refer underemployed young adults to job openings or to people who might be good professional connections. Whom you know matters, more than ever. 
• Do offer practical interview advice based on your own experience. Express sympathy when they get turned down after an interview. Assure them that they are just as capable as their peers; that a lot of this is mysterious luck.
• Do cheer them on with small successes, like part-time retail jobs. Don't lecture them about counting their blessings. They know. 
• Do tell them about sales on professional wear at the local outlet mall. 
• Do offer to pray for them. Only God knows how we'll get out of this recession mess. 

Any other job-seekers reading this? What would you add to my list? 

7 Quick Takes Volume 19

I just realized I have been numbering these all wrong; I've done way more than I thought. Thanks, Jen for hosting. And for keeping the link-up open all weekend for procrastinators like me.

1. Yesterday I moved to a new desk at my job for the fourth time. Some people are annoyed that 7 of us are sharing a room, but I'm just happy to be within earshot of my department again.

2. I am determined not to pay full price for a gown from a bridal salon, but that didn't keep me from trying on dresses last weekend with my sister and mom in tow. It's funny how things I liked on paper look silly on me in person, and how my attitude toward wedding dresses has evolved now that I am engaged. With every dress, I pondered "Would I want to be the minister of a sacrament in this dress?" What I like to wear to a party and what I want to look like for a life-changing solemn moment are different. Textiles have meaning, you know ;-)

3. Still, wedding dress ads are pretty entertaining for their sheer ridiculousness alone. On my material culture blog I wrote about some that featured zombie models and classic Hollywood references.

4. I've been trying not to focus on the HHS mandate as much, because it's just stressing me out. But I couldn't help laughing at this juxtaposition of articles in my Facebook newsfeed: a piece from the feminist website Jezebel entitled "Law Will Allow Employers to Fire Women for Using Whore Pills." immediately followed by a Human Life International article, "The Assault on Femininity: Is Fertility the Next Down Syndrome?"
Both articles were not afraid of hyperbole, but obviously I'm more inclined to agree with the latter. The politics of fertility - it's a big deal, ya'll.

5. This year's gluten free Irish soda bread turned out pretty well. Baking with teff flour is always weird - things can come out dry and a little greenish. But this loaf is pretty tasty with butter and a schmear of marmalade.

6. I've been a little bummed that The Betrothed isn't around to go see the cherry blossoms, try new restaurants, go to daily Mass etc. But this afternoon I decided "Screw it, I'm going on adventure by myself." So I drove the 30 miles downtown to attend Gregorian chant vespers at St. Matthew's Cathedral. It was awesome. Then I took a long walk down 16th Street, which ends in...the White House! That was also awesome. As were the blossoming trees and the windows-down weather. Solo excursions can be fun.

7. It's the 4th week of Lent - Happy Laetare Sunday! I'll leave you with Matisyahu's reggaeton version of today's responsorial psalm.

Wait...there's Catholic Social Teaching?

Recently Glenn Beck told his radio listeners to "run away" from priests who preach social justice and to "ask your bishop if he's down with this whole social justice thing."

*Facepalm* Of course your bishop is "down with it." So was every Pope of the last century. Idiotic statements like this make me mad, and are why I don't readily "admit" I lean to the political right.

Thank goodness Stephen Colbert and a Jesuit priest can set the record straight. "Maybe Glenn could be the next Pope, since he's already comfortable with telling Catholics what to do."

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