Art and womanhood

You can call me a feminist. Granted, I am not the bra-burning kind, or the abortion rights kind, but I'm a feminist. I believe that women are just as valuable to society as men, and that we have the same rights as human beings. We deserve the same opportunities to use the gifts and talents God gave us.

Today some of the first years in my program told me about the Guerilla Girls, who are feminist artists and activists. Apparently they protest in front of The Metropolitan Museum of Art wearing gorilla masks. (Get it?) It's a little ridiculous, but I love the sentiment of this ad they created.

Women are not objects to admire or ogle. They are people with ideas, creativity, contributions to make.

Trial and error of an INTJ/ melancholic/ phlegmatic

Lately I've been working on finding my voice. What do I truly think and feel about things? When I was a little kid, I was pretty outspoken and opinionated. I was right, my classmates were ignorant, and that's how it had to be. Over time, I realized that I didn't know everything (duh!) and that being closed minded alienated a lot of people. In college especially, I went through some personal and family hardships that required a lot of patience and flexibility. In my social life, I found myself in the center of conflicts, able to see both sides and wishing they would quit fighting already. Navigating post-grad life, my strategy has been not to openly disagree with others, because then they won't like me and goodness knows it's hard to meet new people out of college.

Patience and meekness are good things, but lately I've been missing the outspoken, principled me of yesteryear. Am I so understanding that I have no original opinions of my own? Do I give a genuine witness to my faith? Can I suggest what to do this weekend instead of waiting for other people to call the shots? Can I at least ask restaurant staff to give me the ingredient info I need to stay gluten free?

So I'm working on that.

Well, today it backfired a little. My history seminar class is amazing and I love it. The professor is fantastic and funny and I really like her. Today's political history discussion was a mental workout. I made a lengthy comment, and this conversation resulted.

Fantastic Prof: "So, what you're saying here is abcdefg. Is that right?"
Me: "I think so" pondering pause (Do I really mean abcdefg? or is it hijklmnop?)
Fantastic Prof: "Are you sure? Do you need to pray about it?"
Me: "What's that supposed to mean??"

Now, if one of my classmates -who know I am the praying sort- had made that comment, I would have a right to be offended. But Fantastic Prof does not know that. She was just trying to make a joke, drawing on her religious history studies. And stupid me had to pick this moment to make a stand, instead of a funny comeback like "Let me say a couple novenas and I'll get back to you." I apologized later, she laughed it off, but still. Oy vey. My voice still needs training. Maybe novenas too.

Better go and get your armor

Do you ever have one of those days that are just no good? (I know one other blogger who did.) You get up on the wrong side of the bed and it's downhill from there. Today I had one of those. The overcast sky, stress about holiday travel planning, and some parking lot issues just put me in a grumpy, no good mood.

Luckily, some wonderful friends and classmates were there to bring me out of it. A couple people even responded to my crabby G-chat status to say that they, too, were having rainy grumpy days. Just admitting it to each other made it not so bad.

It also helped that I just made some hot chocolate.


It also helped that one of my favorite songs came on the radio as I was driving home. Now, it might seem silly to suggest that God has anything to do with the playlists of Top 40 stations, but I like to think that Divine Mercy can manifest itself in many ways. Even much needed power ballads for a cranky grad student.



Please note that there is nothing in my love life that makes me want to wear a fancy dress and killer cocktail ring while singing in front of a burning car. But some days my tempestuous relationship with grad school can do that. Thanks for being my armor, friends.

Field Trip: Eastern State Penitentiary

Yesterday Philly had a free museum day for college students, so a bunch of us ventured to a more unusual field trip location - the Eastern State Penitentiary.



















Completed in 1829, it was ground breaking in prison theory. Instead of just a holding pen as people awaiting the stocks or the gallows, it was a place to inspire penitence. It relied on complete solitary isolation - "You just sit there and think about what you did!" Reform rather than brute punishment seems like a good idea, but I wonder how humane treatment actually was. Inmates got no letters or visitors, and only 1 hour of recreation time. When they arrived bags were placed over their heads so they wouldn't know the layout of the building. Personally, I think 23 hours a day in a small dark room alone would make me crazy, not rehabilitated.

Over time, they realized single cells weren't really practical for a place meant to jail all the criminals in eastern PA. Inmates got roommates, and later wings were two stories. 20th century inmates got a lot more freedom - work details, sports leagues, tv hours, etc.

People who work in prison ministry have told me that "prison doesn't work." Often it denies the dignity and humanity of those it attempts to reform. There are no easy answers to stopping crime but also remembering criminals are people too, but the questions are important. After all, didn't Jesus include "I was in prison and you visited me" to His list of righteous deeds that gain entry to heaven?

Eastern State may be plagued with ghosts and painful memories, but there were also stories of hope. As restrictions lifted, inmates got to collaborate for religious services. One Catholic guy painted murals of Mary and of Christ receiving a man's confession. Jewish inmates were so well organized that they built a little synagogue in the 1920s. I liked the story about how they stuck tree branches in the skylight to make a Sukkot hut. Even in today's prison ruins, that legacy of growth survives in the trees and plants that find ways to live inside the stone walls.

Mindy Kaling vindicates my love for Nora Ephron

One of my first posts on this blog was about You've Got Mail, one of my favorite movies. I know, it's not entirely intellectual or edgy. If you knew Meg Ryan's character in real life you'd probably think she was too perky, and Tom Hanks never does apologize for closing down her bookstore. But you know what? It's also funny and clever, with a comforting, friendly atmosphere.

In a recent interview with new New York Magazine, awesome writer and actor for The Office Mindy Kaling revealed that she totally agrees with me. The movie made her fall in love with New York City when she was 18. Even watching 15 minute intervals brightens her day!

Mindy has a good point that the female characters are realistically normal and *gasp* modest. Theirs is not a world populated by standard-issue hotties with too much hair styling and not enough blouse fabric. "A lot of comedies now have to be R-rated sex comedies. Do you even see anything other than Meg Ryan's wrists in You've Got Mail? She dresses like a female comedy writer - nothing is fitted, everything is four sizes too big."

Oh Mindy, how are you so brilliant? "Ninety percent of the time I'm having romantic comedy fantasies in which I'm wearing little pencil skirts hurrying to the subway. " How did you know that's what motivated me to hurry off to the museum this morning? I think we need to have a fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!

Weddings, dresses, and other lovely things

Do you, like me, love pretty pictures of other people's wedding? Are you secretly gad that over a dozen of your high school/college friends got married this summer because it means oodles more Facebook albums to stalk? Do you often find yourself on a Friday night glued to TLC's Say Yes to the Dress? Do you remember A Wedding Story and wish they would show re-runs of that too?

If so, then you may know that wedding photographers' websites are a great way to get your fix of atsy shots of bouquets, veils, and heartfelt vows. I'm recently smitten with Elizabeth Messina's blog, Kiss the Groom. Her pictures are totally gorgeous.
Plus, you can get a customized version of her "Kissing Tree" illustration emailed to you. All you have to do is enter your first name, an affectionate verb (sort of like Mad Libs), and the name of the person, pet, snack food, tv show, whatever, that you love in some way.
Now, as lovely as all this is, I did notice a large number of couture gowns and Christian Laboutin heels on Ms. Messina's blog. (If there are any guys reading this, Christian Laboutin is French for "expensive designer shoes with red soles.") Which means I won't be attending any such wedding any time soon. And that's just fine with me.

Last week I got to embark on a more realistic wedding adventure that a total blast. One of my classmates, L., is getting married next June, and she invited us girls to tag along on some dress shopping trips. We were pleasantly surprised that it was nothing like you see on TV. The salespeople did not expect L. to "say yes to the dress" that day. Nobody accused us of "wasting their time" or "playing dress up." Instead, they acknowledged that this was a big decision, and encouraged L to go home and think it over. We were also pleased to see that there are lots of beautiful, expensive looking gowns available for even well under $900. Sure, we saw some glorified prom dresses and taffeta tents, too. But we loved all of L's choices and are sure she'll look gorgeous in whatever dress she picks!

On England and Popery

In retrospect, it has taken me months to process my class trip to London this January. Now that the memories of stress and exhaustion have faded, I begin to appreciate the wonderful places I saw and feel a real fondness for the city. That has been most apparent this weekend as I've followed Pope Benedict XVI's state visit to the United Kingdom. Not only is the Holy Father making historic speeches and appearances, he's doing so in places I've visited! Westminster Abbey? Been there. Mass in Westminster Cathedral? Done that too! It makes me feel a kinship with "Papa Benny" to know that we've both looked at the London Eye across the Thames.

The papal visit has also caused new reflection on my position as an historian and Anglophile who is also Catholic. When I study or visit England, I am always aware that this was a nation which, for centuries, would have killed or oppressed me for my beliefs. Nowhere did I feel that more keenly than at the Tower of London, where St. Thomas More spent his last days and is buried. He doesn't get a large shrine or elaborate casket, just a space beneath the chapel floorboards and a footnote after the saga of Anne Boleyn. Still, I could feel his presence as I toured the Tower. I wondered what he thought as he faced his death. We carried on a conversation of sorts as I asked his prayers for me and people I love.

Stories like Thomas More's are what make the Pope's UK visit so historic. Any 17th century English person would not believe what happened this weekend. The Pope stood in the place where Thomas More was condemned, addressing Parliament. Not far from the Tyburn, the Pope reflected on the Catholic and Anglican martyrs who died there. At Westminster Abbey, the Pope and Archbishop of Canterbury prayed together. We've come a long way. Former rivals and even enemies find themselves allies and friends in the face of a secular culture.

Which brings me to my thesis. "Late nineteenth early twentieth century Episcopal church vestments." At times it seems so insignificant and pointless. Who really cares about some Catholic girl's bumbling about in Episcopal church history? Rich parishes had pretty vestments, ok moving on! But somehow I think the newly beatified John Henry Newman would care. He spent part of his life as an Anglican, then as a Catholic. He influenced the liturgy and spirituality of both Churches. Both contributed to the man he was.

Speaking of conversion, someone in Salem heard my thesis topic and asked if I was planning on converting to be an Anglo-Catholic Episcopalian. I laughed and answered "No, I really like the Pope, you know?" I do like the idea of a visible head of the Church. I also really like "Papa Benny" in his soft spoken, shy, scholarly demeanor. Under that gentleness is a razor sharp, encyclopedic mind and a good heart. I have been so darn proud this weekend as he bluntly spoke about important things: the horror of sex-abuse scandals, the need for public expressions of faith, the rationality of religion, and the desire for Christian unity.

Maybe my research is a tiny drop in the bucket of that Christian unity. If nothing else, I will understand my "separated brethren" better. I'm also learning more about liturgical history. If I can just tell an interesting story of Christians glorifying God through material culture, I will be happy. Blessed John Henry Newman, pray for me.

(Images are from the Daily Telegraph)

Gluten Free Recipes: Birthday Cake!

Since I went gluten-free four years ago, birthday cake has been one of the hardest foods to navigate. I can't just dive in whenever someone blows out the candles. One of my favorite solutions was the cake my roommate made for me senior year in undergrad. She knew I ate Reese's peanut butter cups, so she filled a cake pan with them and stuck candles in their centers. Perfect!

I've tried some GF cake mixes in my time, but this past weekend I successfully made my first from-scratch cake, in honor of my beau's birthday. Everyone agreed it was a success, and the leftovers tasted even better the next day. It was moist and spongey, unlike many a GF baked good.

GF Chocolate Cake

From Life Tastes Good Again by Kirtsti Kirkland and Betsy Thomas

1 3/4 cup GF flour (I used 1 cup brown rice, 1/2 cup sourghum, and 1/4 cup cornstarch)
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
2 c. sugar
3/4 c. cocoa
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 c. sour cream
1/2 c. oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. boiling water

Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour baking pan(s).

Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl.
In a larger bowl, beat eggs well. Add sour cream, oil, and vanilla to eggs; mix.
Beat in dry ingredients.
Slowly stir in boiling water. Mix well, making sure to scrape down sides and bottom of bowl.
Pour into prepared pan.

I used two round cake pans that took 30-40 minutes to bake. The recipe also suggests
a 9x13 pan for 35-40 minutes
a 13x18 pan for 17-20 minutes.

"Should I get a set of white wall tires? Are you gonna cruise the miracle mile?" - Billy Joel

A few days ago I got to help with a museum object conservation treatment aka .... detailing the antique Rolls Royce! I loved the opportunity to help make a beautiful piece of machinery even shinier. The museum staffer who cares for the car was eager to help explain the different materials, from aluminum to nickel plate to oak to rubber.

I found my task of polishing the German silver running boards very satisfying. At first, the polishing creme turned black as it reacted with the metal. Once I buffed off all the schmutz, though, the metal was smooth and gleaming.

It was so satisfying, I've been on a cleaning binge ever since. Dirty patio furniture is no match for me and a bottle of windex! Next I'm going to create a new catalog system for my culinary printed ephemera ... aka reorganize my recipe binder.

Historic wallpaper: the past was not sepia toned

Here's a collage of nineteenth century wallpapers and floor coverings that I saw on the New England trip. Most are reproductions from Old Sturbridge and Salem.

Interior accents like these always remind me of how colorful, and even downright busy, the visual world of the past was. Would 1830s New Englanders find my neutral toned apartment boring and lower class?

On the other hand, I was just struck with an earnest desire to own a pair of orange shoes.

Happy First Day of School!

Classes finally started for me this week, so I'd to consider yesterday and today an extended first day of school. I started out uncertain about my class schedule, but happily some impromptu tea and conversation with a professor found me an internship in museum publications!

It was weird seeing swarms of undergrads on campus after the emptiness of the summer. Brother #1 claims the undergrads at his new school move at "a geriatric pace" like herds of zombies or an amoeba. Ours are a little faster, thank goodness. It's weird though to see poster sales and big textbook boxes but know they are no longer part of my life.

So far I have witnessed a professorial smack-down over classroom scheduling and heard a notable historian compared to a hedgehog. It's going to be an interesting semester.